The Greatest Gift of All
by Bishop Sasarai
Summary: Shinon feels guilty because he has yet to find Gatrie a Christmas gift, while he's got one for everyone else including Ike. But things have become complicated for Shinon when it comes to Gatrie. ShinonxGatrie
1. Chapter 1

**The Greatest Gift of All**

**By Bishop Sasarai**

**Part One**

Shinon hated the holidays. He hated everything about them; the stupid carols Mist and Rolf and everybody kept singing in the halls, the way everyone seemed immensely more cheerful—which translated to immensely more annoying to Shinon—and the way that everyone insisted on getting each other stupid little gifts. Which meant that Shinon had to get gifts for everyone else, because he was sure to receive them, and he would be called a scrooge and a blackheart if he didn't get them all something in return. The part that made Shinon even more grouchy was the fact that though he knew exactly the sorts of things to get everyone, he hated how they would get all sappy and sentimental when he gave them their gifts, saying things like, "I knew you had a heart in there somewhere, Shinon!" This sort of talk embarrassed the hell out of him. He didn't like being known for a soft heart. Rather, he wanted to be known as a good archer and mercenary. There was nothing more needed from him.

Consequently, because it was the damn holidays, Shinon had gotten together quite the pile of gifts in his closet. There was a sweater in Oscar's favorite color he'd gotten for very cheap several months ago. There was powder and cleaning supplies for Boyd's precious ax. There was a bow he had made himself for Rolf. There were various trinkets and useful doo-dads for the girls; but nothing that would suggest he was thinking of them in a romantic sense. Shinon hadn't wanted to get Ike anything at all, but he'd managed to find one of those stupid little food baskets for him at the last moment. Soren, of course, got books. Rhys got one of those stupid little tea basket sets he was so fond of. And Gatrie… Well, Shinon had taken the gifts out and spread them out on his bed, staring gloomily at the procession and feeling quite let down.

He couldn't think what to get Gatrie, and tomorrow was Christmas.

Shinon had assumed Gatrie would be the easiest person to purchase a Christmas gift for, and so had left him to last. Not to mention, if Shinon ran out of money, Gatrie would be the most understanding. Still, Shinon had no intentions of giving him nothing. He couldn't do that.

He had thought about simply taking the man out for dinner, but that was no good. He would look like a cheapskate bastard, and everyone would say he'd never take Gatrie out for dinner; he'd end up making Gatrie pay. Besides this ringing with truth, Shinon had also been feeling fairly restless around Gatrie lately. As a result, he'd been drinking far too much the past few days, feeling a strong desire to be inebriated rather than fess up to himself a longing for the thick-headed knight whose room he unfortunately shared. Plus, going out to dinner with just Gatrie at this point would feel too much and too uncomfortably like a date, though they had done this often enough in the past.

Shinon had a hard time pin pointing the exact moment he'd started to realize he had developed feelings beyond that of friendly companionship with Gatrie. It seemed the two of them had shared a room together, constantly saw each other in various states of undress, and fought side by side or alone together on missions for forever, but this length of time of no such feelings made no difference on how strongly he felt them now. And it rightly put Shinon in a terrible mood. He did not want to have feelings for anyone, least of all his girl-obsessed moron of a roommate.

Shinon spent a great deal of time training his eye and aim. He oversaw Rolf, grateful for the distraction the little brat—he thought this of him with great affection—provided him from those penetrating thoughts of Gatrie. And the more that he dwelled on those thoughts, the more he realized that he_ could_ pinpoint the moment quite clearly. He'd merely wished to stomp the memory from his mind.

It seemed one night he had a vivid dream of the two of them; naked and pressed to one another, breath coming in short gasps, feelings of incredible pleasure washing over him. He'd woken up feeling breathless, and also mortified. He'd sat up quickly, his face burning hot in the darkness of their bedroom. He could hear the soft snoring of Gatrie in the bed across from him, and for some reason, even this most casual of noises caused another wave of lust to engulf him. He had glared over at Gatrie's sleeping form, barely a lump in the dark, and cursed the hell out of him. It had taken what felt like hours for him to calm his excited body and drift back into sleep. The whole time, he kept reliving moments from the dream, usually the more erotic parts, which only served to make him wake up all over again. He dared not touch himself, either, because that would only mean giving in to that stupid dream, and he refused to do so.

After that dream, which had taken place a few weeks ago, Shinon had become decidedly more distant to Gatrie, who seemed very confused by this sudden change in Shinon's behavior. The poor, stupid fellow merely wanted to chat amiably with him as he always did after breakfast, and Shinon had irately shooed him away, saying he had to concentrate on his aim. Even after Gatrie had protested that Shinon had no need to improve his aim, Shinon had missed the target altogether and knocked out one of the windows of the fort. That had cost him a huge argument with Mist about cleaning it up and paying for it, which resulted in the loss of wages for Shinon that week. It had all been very irritating.

After that incident, Shinon had taken to drinking heavily every other night, it seemed. Nobody could understand why, they knew he drank heavily around the date of Greil's death; he had taken it very hard, and being as emotionally stunted as he was, he was still dealing with it inappropriately. But it wasn't that time of year, and nobody could think why he was suddenly getting plastered so regularly, least of all Gatrie, who they all seemed to be going to in query. Gatrie, in turn came to Shinon, wondering why just as much as they all were. He couldn't understand why he didn't know, after all, of all the people in the Greil Mercenaries, Gatrie had considered Shinon his closest friend, and thought it ran the same for Shinon.

Shinon hated how that stupid dream and the new feelings got in the way of an old friendship like that. But he could see just how much trouble would ensue if he were to give in to what his body seemed to demand, and that was Gatrie's body under his. Gatrie would certainly take exception to it, and what was Shinon to do then? He'd have only Rolf to turn to, and Rolf was a dumb little kid. It was true that Shinon had an especially soft spot for the kid; he loved how pure and dumb he was. And he found himself thinking right after that, that Gatrie was just as pure and dumb as any kid. It must have been this that made him so appealing. It didn't help that Gatrie was achingly handsome, as well. No wonder women used him so frequently, Shinon mused once, gazing at Gatrie one night over dinner. He was dumb enough for them to walk all over, but not bad looking in the bargain. A real damn catch, he was.

Shinon had turned away from watching Gatrie to find Soren's shrewd eyes on him, and this put him in a foul mood straight away. He knew how Soren's mind worked. If the little creep didn't already know, he would deduce it in only a short amount of time. And if he told Ike… Shinon stabbed his meat with such ferocity that Boyd laughed at him and asked if he'd had a bad day. And Mist jokingly replied that all Shinon's days were bad. This only made Shinon all the more crabby. He shortly left the table, wishing to knock the table and its contents on the ground.

Outside, Shinon swore in every colorful word he knew, and he kicked the boot cleaner beside the door, which only made his foot sore, which caused more swearing. A moment later, Gatrie appeared in the doorway, looking after him with his brow furrowed, one hand on the doorjamb, the other raking his blonde hair back.

"Shinon? You all right?"

"Oh, just dandy!" Shinon said, swinging back to Gatrie with murder in his eyes and very nearly punching his best friend in the face. Gatrie only looked somewhat taken aback, for his credit. He was more used to Shinon than anyone else. "I've got bad dreams haunting me, my aim is getting worse, my work performance is shot to hell, I've got people laughing at me right in front of my face and my foot feels like I've dropped a twenty pound weight on it! But no, I feel just dandy! No, no! I feel _all right_. I'm _all right_, Gatrie."

Shinon stormed savagely away from the Greil Fort, marching off to the outskirts of it, Gatrie, of course, hot on his heels.

"Go away, will you?!" Shinon slashed a hand violently in the air, trying to shoo Gatrie off. But loyal dog that he was, Gatrie wasn't going any where. Shinon could see it by the set of his face. "Fine, stay. Remain. Have fun."

Shinon kept walking until he was well outside of the Greil Fort, and he finally stopped at a bend in the road. He sat on the large stone that stood conveniently beside a sign proclaiming this village was that way and that village was this way. He crossed his arms and sulked in silence for a long time, wishing he had something to drink. Even as he was thinking it, Gatrie was thrusting it under his nose. Shinon took it gladly, its top was already off, and Shinon took several long gulps of it before lowering it again.

"What's wrong, Shinon?" Gatrie wanted to know.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything's wrong. The Goddess hates me. The universe hates me. Everyone damn well hates me."

"You do make it easy."

Shinon fumed at this, taking another long, angry swallow, and then several more besides. The thought of Gatrie jumping on the HATE SHINON bandwagon had never before occurred to him, and the prospect didn't sit well with him now. He suddenly jumped from the rock and thrust the bottle into Gatrie's hands, wavering only slightly as he started off down the road again. Gatrie hurried alongside him, lightly grabbing his elbow as he kept pace with the tipsy Shinon.

"Shinon. The fort's that way."

"So? What if I don't want to go back to that miserable fort?" Shinon felt only a little tipsy. Still, he was surprised he was feeling so tipsy so soon. He peered at the bottle in Gatrie's hands, grabbing it to steady it and read it. He couldn't concentrate on it. "What's it say?"

"It's vodka."

"Right. Right, nice. Thank you, _Gatrie_," Shinon said sarcastically, clapping a hand on Gatrie's shoulder and swaying again. Gatrie put out a hasty hand to Shinon's waist to steady him. "Now I'm gonna be plastered. Thaaank you."

His head lolled across Gatrie's rather pleasant smelling chest. Gatrie was pulling Shinon around to go the opposite way down the road. Shinon stalked down the road to the fort, feeling that if he was going to have to go back, he could do it on his damn well own. He took several strides before feeling his stomach contents upsetting. He slowed his walk. His stomach was still revolting. By now, Gatrie had caught up. He knew the look Shinon was displaying very well. He backed away a few steps, and sure enough, Shinon was on his knees, vomiting in a bush. Gatrie was sorry he'd brought the alcohol by now. He knelt beside Shinon and placed a hand on his back.

"It's okay, buddy. You'll be all right."

Shinon stayed where he was for a long moment, his back and shoulders, every part of him really, tensing under Gatrie's friendly touch. It didn't help when Gatrie began making soothing circular motions. Shinon smacked Gatrie's hand away and stumbled to a standing position.

He started walking to the fort again, but Gatrie could see he wasn't going to make it very far. Just before Shinon passed out, Gatrie caught him and he ended up having to carry the drunken archer on his back all the way back to the fort.

SG+

When Shinon woke the next morning, sunlight was piercing his eyes, and he squinted up at the too bright light, shading his eyes and then rolling over on his side. He felt awful. His mouth was dry as if he'd slept with a cotton ball in his mouth. His eyes were also dry and probably red, barely wanting to open at all. His stomach was sore and his foot still ached from when he'd kicked the boot cleaner. Most painfully, his head was pounding like there was some small creature in there trying to get out. Shinon winced and closed his eyes once more.

A few moments later, he felt someone prodding his shoulder, and he forced his eyes open once more. Rhys stood before him, a tea kettle in hand. Behind him, Gatrie held a tray with some food and cups. Shinon closed his eyes again, groaning as he placed his hands over his eyelids.

"Leave me alone."

"I think not," Rhys said, gently disapproving. "You're going to have to stop this, Shinon. You're going to kill yourself…"

"And what's so bad about that?" Shinon snarled, opening his eyes again and nearly causing Rhys to fall back in shock. He certainly hadn't been expecting Shinon to behave as an ill mannered rabid dog. Still, he looked so worried at Shinon, that Shinon felt bad for scaring him. Shinon looked over at Gatrie, who was not even looking at Shinon, but down at his tray of goods. Shinon's gaze came back to rest on Rhys.

"Fine. Whatever. I'll stop." For now, he added silently as his eyes slid back to the bright sunlight shining through the window. "Just give me some of your damn tea."

Rhys obediently poured Shinon some tea as he requested so politely, and he set it down on the little chest of drawers that sat beside Shinon's bed. Shinon didn't take it immediately. Rhys watched Shinon for a moment, concerned for Shinon, for this behavior was more extreme than usual. He at first though Shinon might be coming down ill, but seeing Shinon's strange expressions, he thought perhaps it was instead something emotional. They all knew of Shinon's moodiness, but Rhys suspected this moodiness came from Shinon being a highly sensitive and emotional person who hid it behind irrational anger and annoyance. He didn't think he could do anything for this type of thing except speak with him.

"Shinon… If you need to talk…"

"Yeah, yeah. I know, you're here for me."

Rhys didn't take offense to this rebuff, and instead smiled kindly and somewhat sadly at Shinon. Shinon wasn't even going to consider lightening his burden. Rhys turned away and patted Gatrie on the shoulder.

"Make sure he drinks it," was all he said, before leaving the two alone in the room. Shinon refused to look at Gatrie at all. He seemed to sit there sulking a long time, before grabbing the tea and gulping it down in much the same way he'd done the vodka last night.

"I drank it. Stop standing there and staring at me stupidly."

Gatrie placed the tray he'd been holding down on the little dresser beside the now empty tea cup and he sat on the edge of Shinon's bed. He sat there in silence, which made Shinon very uncomfortable. He finally prodded Gatrie's leg with his toe.

"What's your problem?" Shinon asked, actually wanting to know, but managing to make it sound like an insult rather than concern. Gatrie distractedly reached over and grabbed Shinon's ankle to stop him from prodding him again.

"Shinon, seriously. I've been asking you all week. What's going on?"

Shinon stared at Gatrie's hand on his ankle, then yanked it out of his touch and sat up more. He reached a hand up and realized his hair was overly mussed. Great. He looked as if he'd let a pack of rodents nest there, and he was still not resolving anything. The morning was looking dour already.

"Nothing's going on," Shinon replied, trying to smooth his hair without being obvious about it. Gatrie wordlessly handed him his brush. Shinon was annoyed that he was so obvious, but he started brushing his hair, nonetheless.

"I know you, Shinon," Gatrie said, very seriously, as he turned and pierced Shinon with his gaze. "And I know you'd usually complain about everything to me. Instead, you're drinking, trying to handle whatever it is without my help. Why don't you just tell me? You've never been afraid to tell me what you were thinking before."

_That's because I wasn't thinking about you inappropriately…_ Shinon thought resentfully, as though it was all Gatrie's fault that he was having perverse dreams in it with him as the star. The very thought of those dreams brought a flicker of red flame across Shinon's face. Gatrie was not so stupid that he didn't notice this. He sat up straighter, and he seemed excited.

"Oh, I know what it is, Shinon!"

"And what is it?" Shinon asked, quite sure that Gatrie would be way off.

"You've fallen in love!"

**Please review. I am of the type who feels more inspired by the comments of readers, good or bad. Also, this is part one of a planned three part story! **


	2. Chapter 2

**The Greatest Gift of All**

**By DeidaraXTobi**

**Part Two**

"_You've fallen in love!" _

Shinon was not at all pleased with Gatrie's new theory. In fact, he was feeling quite mortified over it. It was much too close to the truth. But he could not, under any circumstances, let this on. Instead, he crossed his arms.

"I'm not in love, Gatrie."

"Yes, you are." Gatrie said, smiling knowingly. "I know all about it, remember?"

For a moment, Shinon's heart stopped, thinking that Gatrie had realized something before he had, or that he'd done something incredibly, impossibly, absolutely stupid last night--but then Gatrie continued on.

"I've been in love loads of times, so I know all about the symptoms. And look at you, you're keeping things from me and drinking and blushing. You hardly have an appetite. Its cause you keep thinking about her, right? She consumes all your thoughts and all your dreams, and you were too afraid to come to me, because you thought I'd laugh at you, right?"

Shinon was speechless. How stupid was this oaf? Or how_ smart_ was he? Shinon narrowed his eyes. He didn't like how insightful Gatrie had suddenly become. Plus, he hardly thought Gatrie's little crushes, or half crushes or _quarter crushes_, if you could even call it _that_, counted as falling in love. And Shinon wasn't in love, besides. He refused to believe that this strange bout of sudden lust was love. Love was something else entirely. Love and Gatrie didn't fit in the same sentence together. Not for Shinon. Nope. Nuh-uh.

"You have not been in_ love_, Gatrie," Shinon said lowly, scowling at Gatrie with angry green eyes. "I can barely call it a crush! All that happened was you thought those girls were pretty and then you let them take advantage of you, like the damn fool that you are!"

"Well, what about puppy love?" Gatrie wanted to know, shrugging. He was so used to Shinon's anger, his words didn't sting like they did when spoken to other people. Normally, this was one of Gatrie's more endearing traits, but right now, Shinon was peeved that he wasn't making Gatrie even slightly angry.

"Not even puppy love. Puppy love is that stupid Rolf and Mist."

"I thought Rolf's puppy love was for you…" Gatrie said, disagreeing with Shinon's assessment. "I think Mist likes Boyd."

"Oh, to hell with that!" Shinon said, sitting up. He had never before noticed Rolf's puppy love towards him. Sure, the kid followed him around _like_ a puppy. And he gave him those pathetic puppy eyes when he was sad or wanted something out of Shinon, like a puppy… "One, Rolf can find a better prospect than me, and two, Mist and Boyd would have the most retarded children Tellius has seen since Devdan. Or excuse me, I believe he goes by_ Danved_ now."

"What do you mean, Rolf can find a better prospect than you?" Gatrie asked, suddenly looking very interestedly at Shinon. This interest made Shinon feel scrutinized, and he felt that strange feeling washing over him again, making him suddenly feel disgustingly _shy_ that Gatrie was looking at him. This instantly put him into another foul mood.

"I mean, there are plenty of nice, pretty girls he can go cling to and be a little crybaby with. Girls that are nicer than me by far, and might actually attend to his constant needs."

Shinon found that Rolf was a very needy kid. He was constantly needing attention and he wanted to grow up so damn fast, always getting all prickly when people called him a kid. Not to mention, his feelings got hurt way too easily. Of course, this always made Shinon feel horrible and guilty when he came out and said his normal mean things to him, and the kid would go all soft and sad on him, which would in turn make him end up saying something nice to him to make him feel better. He did have a soft spot for Rolf… After all, as a child, he had actually been a lot like Rolf. Needy little crybaby. Shinon didn't really want to see Rolf go the way he did. But Rolf seemed determined to plod down that road. Shinon only hoped someone forgiving enough would be around to pick up the pieces, even if it had to be him.

"You already do attend to his needs," Gatrie pointed out. "You're the nicest person to him. I think he likes you because you treat him like an adult. Besides, what makes you think you aren't good enough, Shinon? Is that what's been bothering you? Oh!" Gatrie looked up, and Shinon could just see the little light bulb going on in his head. Great. He knew exactly where this was going, and he could have said the words in unison as they poured from Gatrie's mouth; "You're in love with Rolf!"

Shinon finally flung back the bedcovers and stalked out of bed—ready to leave the room and just ignore Gatrie all day, only to find that he was stripped down to his underwear. Usually, this was not a big deal. But today, all he could think was that Gatrie must have undressed him last night, and the idea horrified him. He got back into the bed hastily.

"Did you undress me?" Shinon asked snappishly. Gatrie seemed surprised that Shinon had to ask. After all, he had done it on a few other occasions when Shinon had gotten too shit-faced to do anything for himself. On a few occasions, Gatrie had even carried him out to Oscar's horse's water trough and tossed him into it to wake him up.

"Yes. You didn't want to go to bed in your boots and dirty clothes, did you?"

Shinon could feel his face flaming again, and he was ashamed of it. He wanted nothing more than to hide under the covers of the bed, but that would be very telling; every bit as telling as his reddened face. Shinon had hoped Gatrie wouldn't notice, but of course the big lunk did, and he leaned forward, touching his palm to Shinon's forehead before he could dodge it.

"Do you have a fever? You look sick."

"I'm hung-over," Shinon reminded him sarcastically.

"But you should have felt better after the tea…" Gatrie poured another cup and pushed it towards Shinon, who looked away from it with a glower. "You should take some more."

"I don't want to."

"But you might get really sick if you don't."

"So what?"

"So, I don't want you getting sick."

"Since when have you been so serious and grown up?" Shinon wanted to know, turning his heated glare on Gatrie. He was much more accustomed to silly, stupid Gatrie, that he was a little surprised by how Gatrie was acting right now.

"Since you stopped acting like one yourself!" Gatrie seemed to be finally losing his temper. He set the cup of tea down hard, spilling tea everywhere. He didn't even seem to care. He glared back at Shinon, but Shinon recognized a spark of hurt in his blue eyes as well. It took him somewhat aback. "Come on, Shinon! Everyone wants to help you, but you keep turning everyone down; even Rhys! I keep waiting for you to finally come to me with—with whatever the hell it is, and you just keep going off on your own, coming back all drunk and stupid and calling me names, but you're the one who's acting like the moron! I hate it when you get like this! Did something happen that reminded you of Commander Greil? Or are you really falling all over yourself about Rolf? Are you hating yourself because he's a kid, or something? Are you pissed off that Ike's Commander and gets everything handed to him?! Whatever the hell it is, Shinon, you should do like you always do and come complain to me about it! You know I don't judge you, you know I always listen without complaint, and you know I'd never tell you to shut up! So what's the deal? Come on, lay it on me!"

Gatrie thumped his chest in emphasis, and his eyes glowed with frustration. Shinon found he couldn't think of anything to say in response to this, so he merely looked out the window with a sour look. He couldn't lay it on Gatrie. He'd look a fool. He could bet that Gatrie wasn't willing to hear what he had to say at all. He was sure it was the last thing Gatrie expected or wanted to hear. So, despite the fact that he seemed to be seriously wounding Gatrie's feelings, he had nothing to say. Gatrie didn't seem to be having this.

"So. You're not going to answer me."

"What do you want me to say?" Shinon said with an almost dead tone of voice. He felt the bed shifting. At first, Shinon thought Gatrie had gotten fed up and taken off. Any other person would have at this point. Instead, he looked up to see Gatrie was getting up so he could sit closer to Shinon. He sat down once more, and this time he leaned over and planted a hand on the bed on the other side of Shinon. Shinon would have looked to see what Gatrie might have planned with that hand, but his gaze caught Gatrie's and he couldn't seem to tear it away. Gatrie's eyes locked on his.

"I want you to say whatever's bothering you."

"I told you before. It's nothing." Shinon averted his gaze; he couldn't seem to look Gatrie in the eye at the moment.

"How is it nothing? Nothing to who? Certainly not to you. It's been weighing on you a lot lately. I still can't figure it out, but everyone tells me I'm stupid."

"That's because you are," Shinon retorted.

"But loyal. You're my best friend, Shinon. If something's bothering you, I could care less who you're going to make fun of or complain about. Even if you're going to bash on me to my face, go for it. You do it all the time, though, so I don't think that's it. Is it something I said or did that pissed you off? Or…?"

"I'm not pissed off at you, Gatrie."

"Well, then what is it?! If it really is the Rolf thing, you know I won't care…"

"It's not the damn Rolf thing!"

Gatrie really did seem to be clinging to that theory. But it didn't matter that Shinon had dismissed it, for Gatrie went on trying to guess what it could be. Shinon was glad that the truth was so unthinkable; he didn't know what he'd do if Gatrie guessed it. What the hell would he say? I've been having wild dreams about you… with me? And that would go over so well… Shinon decided he'd have to BS this, otherwise, Gatrie the dog would worry the problem to death like a dog with a rat.

"It's Christmas!" Shinon shouted over Gatrie's various theories, this one having something to do with Mist and Boyd and him wanting one or the other of them; for Gatrie really seemed to have caught on to the fact that Shinon was wanting someone. Gatrie stopped mid sentence to give Shinon a quizzical look.

"Christmas?" Gatrie repeated, looking confused. "What about Christmas? Did you not have enough money for everyone? You can borrow some of mine. If that was all…"

"No, no. It's not that… exactly…" Shinon thought quickly. What should he say about Christmas? He had actually been thinking of the excuse Gatrie came up with, but it would feel just plain wrong to take Gatrie's money at the moment, tempting though it was. "It's… I don't know what to get you…"

The words came out in a rush, just as he thought them. It would be the perfect excuse, since it had to do with Gatrie, and it was very real problem he was having. It wasn't the whole of the problem, but just saying that little bit of it made him feel a rush of relief like he couldn't believe. It felt as if at least have the burden weighing on his mind had been lifted. He thought for a moment of confessing the whole thing, but he wasn't_ that_ relieved and he quickly thought better of it before he'd managed to say anything.

"Is that all?!" Gatrie looked astonished. "You were drinking yourself into an early grave because you _don't know what to get me for Christmas?!_"

"Well," Shinon said irritably. "I got everyone else something, and then I got stuck on you, and here it is the day before Christmas, and I still haven't got anything… As my…best friend…" Shinon choked out the words _best friend_ with difficulty, true as they were. "You should have been easiest and…"

"Oh, come on, Shinon." For a moment, Shinon thought Gatrie wasn't buying it. But onward the duff went and Shinon could breathe easy again. "I don't care what you get me, or if you don't get me anything at all…"

"Oh yeah? Tell me this then," Shinon smirked as he sat up a little and crossed his arms. "What would you have felt on Christmas day when you got a gift from everyone but me, and I had given everyone else something they wanted? Think about your response before you tell it to me, would you?"

Gatrie did pause to think, all the while Shinon knew exactly how Gatrie would feel, because he himself would feel that way if Gatrie were to do the exact same thing to him.

"I guess I would have hurt feelings," Gatrie admitted.

"Exactly!" But before Shinon could go on, Gatrie was talking again.

"But now that I know, I won't mind," Gatrie told him with a careless shrug of his shoulders. "So don't worry yourself so much over it. This time of year… It's not about presents. It's just about… love and friendship, right? I already know that you're my best and closest friend, and now that you've told me…"

Gatrie trailed off. Shinon looked up at Gatrie, and the silence stretched between them as their gazes met. Gatrie was still in his position, half leaning over Shinon where he sat on his bed. His hand was still planted on the bed, beside Shinon. Somehow, the world around them seemed so surreal, that Shinon almost fooled himself into thinking this was a chaste dream, an illusion swirling in his mind. He told himself later that his belief that it was merely a dream was the reason he did what he did next.

Shinon lifted his hand up to the side of Gatrie's face. It seemed even more like a dream because Gatrie didn't move away or flinch or even seem disgusted in the slightest. He just kept his gaze steady with Shinon's, his eyes soft and gentle. Shinon had no idea what his own gaze must have looked like, but since this was a mere dream to him, he didn't really care. His hand moved from Gatrie's face, to the back of his neck. He threaded his fingers through the hair at the nape of Gatrie's neck, short but soft. He directed Gatrie's head to move closer to his, while moving closer himself.

Shinon hesitated before their lips met. He could feel Gatrie's breath on his lips. He wondered what the hell he was doing. He screwed that question. And he kissed Gatrie. It started out very soft and very hesitant. His eyes closed slowly. Gatrie was kissing him back, just as hesitantly, as though waiting for Shinon's permission for anything more. Somehow, this leant courage to Shinon. He kissed Gatrie with more fervor, forcing Gatrie's lips to part for him and pressing his body against Gatrie's. A familiar flame of desire shot through his body. He pushed Gatrie back, so that he was lying on his back on the bed. He didn't stop kissing Gatrie even as he fell back, although Gatrie didn't seem to mind being treated that way. Gatrie placed a hand on Shinon's hip, kissing Shinon back with a matched fervor. His other hand went to the back of Shinon's head so that he could kiss him with such hunger that Shinon found himself rubbing himself up against Gatrie, causing Gatrie to let out a small groan. Their tongues met and twisted round one another.

By now, Shinon could barely breathe. Somehow, breath didn't seem all that important, but his lungs ached for air. He broke off the wild kiss, breathing in short, ragged gasps. Gatrie seemed to miss his lips, but that didn't stop him from continuing to kiss Shinon. His lips trailed down Shinon's throat, to his collar bone. Shinon closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath. Gatrie kissed him again on the side of the mouth.

"I love you, Shinon…"

It was barely a whisper, but it seemed to knock Shinon out of his dream instantly. He came to himself with a jolt, opening his eyes and hastily trying to disentangle himself from Gatrie.

"What the _hell_ am I doing?" His voice shook slightly, and he found that his hands were trembling as well. It was not a dream. That was the only thing that kept echoing through his mind. _It was not a dream._ _Shit. Shit. Shit!_

Shinon quickly got off of Gatrie and shot across the bed, as far as he could get from Gatrie.

What was he supposed to say to Gatrie?

_I'm sorry, my dreams seem to be affecting my real life now. You're lucky we didn't get to the naked part._

Shinon turned crimson at the thought.

_SHIT! _

He was lucky it didn't go that far. Shinon couldn't even bring himself to look at Gatrie. It would have been one long, awkward silence if Rhys didn't interrupt it by coming into the room at that moment.

"Sorry to bother you," Rhys said pleasantly enough. "But I thought you'd need something to eat…"

Rhys trailed off when he saw the expressions on Shinon and Gatrie's faces.

"Did something happen? An argument perhaps? Or…?"

"It was nothing." Shinon said hastily, standing up and grabbing the food Rhys had brought right of the tray. It was a sandwich. It smelled awesome to Shinon. He took a huge bite and said around his food, "Shee ya round, thanksh, Rhysh!" Then he made his escape.

**Yay, thanks for all the reviews, guys! Keep up with it! Only the ole finale to go!**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Greatest Gift of All**

**By Bishop Sasarai (Sorry about my name change in Part Two, that's what I'm called on FictionPress…)**

**Part Three**

Shinon was still officially freaking out an hour later. He could not believe that he had kissed Gatrie like the world was on fire. Even more… He was mortified by what Gatrie had said. Did Gatrie even realize what he had said? Did he mean it in the way Shinon thought he meant it? The world was over. Shinon was sure of it. The end had come.

Shinon didn't go to the archery range. It was too typical of him. He didn't drink, either. Somehow, getting drunk was just the wrong idea. No… Shinon left the fort and headed to the nearby town. He stayed there all day, and he did not come home until well after dark. Amazingly, he was not drunk. Amazingly… He had not touched any alcohol. But the only thing stopping him was…

He didn't want to forget what had happened. He kept thinking over it again and again. The deep feelings that washed over him did not become any less intense, he was surprised to note. They only seemed to get stronger with longing, the more he thought about it, and the less time he had seen Gatrie.

And all day, he thought of Gatrie. He kept wondering why Gatrie had said what he said. Gatrie loved women. Shinon could not understand why Gatrie would say something like that. _I love you…_ The words still made Shinon shiver. Sure, Rolf said it on a regular basis, but Shinon didn't often hear those words in such a context. Shinon was not popular with women. They tended to like the less sharp Gatrie. Shinon was not so easily duped.

So, it was with a sober mind that Shinon finally approached the Greil Fort, and he slipped into their shared room well after midnight. He undressed quickly, then crawled under his bed's covers. It had been cold outside, and the fort was not much warmer. He waited for the blankets and his body heat to warm him up. He listened in the darkness, and found that he could hear Gatrie breathing. But he was not snoring. Shinon moved his head on his pillow, gazing into the darkness in the direction of Gatrie's bed. In the pitch blackness, he could not see much more than a lump in the bed. Shinon felt his heart beating faster, and he glared at himself. He wasn't a stupid teenage girl. He needed to stop simpering like one.

Shinon rolled onto his other side, and he stared at the wall. He could not get to sleep. His mind was restless. He could hear Gatrie breathing still, and it distracted him. The silence in the room stretched, and Shinon wondered if Gatrie was falling asleep. He was still having such a hard time with it. He rolled onto his back now, staring at the ceiling, though he could barely see its cracks in the darkness.

"Shinon?"

Shinon heard Gatrie's voice, soft and doubtful, in the dark, and he made himself not look over at the dark lump. He looked at the ceiling. He swallowed. He licked his dry lips. He was afraid to say anything, but finally, he heard his own voice, cracked and thin, respond.

"Yes?"

"Why did you leave?"

Shinon turned back to the wall. He stretched out an arm, brushing the wall with his finger. It was cold. Somehow, the cold made him feel better.

"I just had to."

Shinon heard Gatrie's bed squeaking. He willed himself not to look. He didn't want to know if Gatrie was sitting up, or just moving around, or even getting up. He didn't want to know anything about what Gatrie was doing right now.

"It's what I said… Isn't it?"

Shinon's finger stopped stroking the wall, and Shinon's gaze froze. His eyes were looking at the wall, but he was not seeing it. All he could see was Gatrie's face. Gatrie's body after a battle and he took off his armor. Gatrie, Gatrie, Gatrie. Fuck Gatrie! No, don't! Gah! Why was this happening to him?

"Listen," Shinon said, his voice ended up coming out hoarse. "Let's just not talk about this any more."

It was silent for a moment, and then Gatrie said, "No."

"What?"

"I said, no. I don't want to pretend nothing happened."

Shinon stared stubbornly at the wall. But it didn't matter what he looked at, because he felt Gatrie's weight sink into his bed, and how was he going to escape now?

"Please, Gatrie. Let's just forget this."

"Why? I love you. Not talking about it doesn't make it not exist."

"_What?_"

Gatrie laughed a little. "I know that didn't make much sense. But… hear me out, Shinon. I love you. But you're…you, and I thought… Well, I thought a lot of things, but mostly I thought I'd just never say anything. Find a nice girl, settle down. That kind of thing. I was content just to be by your side. But when…" Gatrie's voice grew thick with emotion, and he paused for a moment. "When you…kissed me, I don't know. How can I see you and wonder…what might have been? Don't you have feelings for me? How could you kiss me like that and not feel something? _Anything_, for me?"

"How about irritated? I think that's feeling something," Shinon suggested bitterly. Gatrie put a hand on Shinon's shoulder, a brotherly hand, like he did back before Shinon was stupid and kissed him. Somehow, this made Shinon feel colder on the inside than any words.

"If that's really all," Gatrie replied sadly. "I'll respect your wishes. I…I won't talk about it."

Gatrie started to get back up, and Shinon could feel everything slipping away; if he said nothing more—right now—then he was going to regret it. They couldn't be friends like they were before. Everything was too different. There would always be a gap between them. Maybe Shinon was afraid of losing that friendship, but if he confessed to his emotions, maybe it wouldn't happen quite so soon. Maybe there was just something there they needed to explore. Maybe they could still be friends.

Shinon reached out and grabbed Gatrie's wrist just as he stood up, yanking him back down on the bed. Gatrie tripped over Shinon's pants on the floor, falling backwards onto Shinon's legs.

"Ow…" Shinon muttered under his breath. He could barely see Gatrie's expression, but he looked lost.

"Shinon, what was that f—"

Shinon pulled him toward him roughly, kissing him hungrily. Gatrie was too stunned to react for a moment, and for a dreadful few heartbeats, Shinon was sure Gatrie was going to shove away from him. But he didn't. Good old faithful Gatrie. He kissed Shinon back, though it was less intense than Shinon's kiss; tentative, hesitant. Impatient, Shinon broke off the kiss and glared at Gatrie, green eyes flashing.

"What's wrong with you?" he hissed, a wisp of red hair falling into his face. Gatrie seemed distracted by the hair, reaching for it. Shinon moved the hair from his face first, pretty sure he knew what Gatrie was going to do. But Gatrie's hand didn't stop moving. He gently touched the side of Shinon's face, caressing him with a strange expression like wonder on his face. Shinon scowled. "Gatrie." He took hold of Gatrie's wrist, effectively stopping him.

Gatrie's eyes moved from Shinon's hair, to his face, to his eyes.

"Yes, Shinon?"

He was going to demand Gatrie kiss him harder, but something about the tenderness of his gaze silenced him. Why were things so familiar, and yet so alien? This was Gatrie he was kissing, this was Gatrie that he wanted to…well… Gatrie. Of all the people on the planet; this dumbass. His dumbass.

"I love you."

Gatrie seemed speechless. He stared into Shinon's eyes, gaze so heated that Shinon wanted to squirm out of it and say forget it all. But Gatrie's lips finally formed into a smile.

"Merry Christmas."

**Oh my god. I hate that ending. Oh well. At least I finally had the courage to post it… It's been sitting on my computer for a while, I kept hoping I'd come up with a new ending. My LegaultxHeath story's next chapter should be up shortly. **


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